Vicious romance novel lies
Padraic and Bethany - March 6th, 2008Welcome, dear readers. If you’re anything like us, you’re already well into Spring Break mode, so we’ll just jump to the question.
“How do you keep your first time from being horrible?”
In a lot of ways, this is a trick question. It’s really hard to keep your first time from letting you down in some way, in no small part because it’s likely you don’t really know what you’re doing.
Sex is something that generally takes practice, so rarely will anybody’s first time be mind-blowing.
That said, it is possible to look back on your first time and not see visions of impenetrable bra clasps, inappropriate commentary and zipper injuries. Paddy considers his first time a fond experience; of course, Paddy’s first time involved a ninja, so his might not be the best example. But besides the fact that his partner had the ability to kill him bare-handed at any time, that wasn’t what Paddy really appreciated about the experience. What lets him look back on his first time with a smile is that, despite his inexperience, he felt really comfortable at the time.
And while the mere mention of how she lost her virginity causes Bethany to get quieter than Flagstaff in the summer, she will admit that there are several factors, both pleasant and otherwise, which can affect how your deflowering transpires.
First, it’s vitally important that neither one of you feels you’re rushing into anything. Nothing kills the mood like one or both of you being overly anxious.
While some nervousness and apprehension is not only unavoidable, but actually part of the excitement, being so jittery you’re physically ill will make it impossible for you to enjoy yourself.
You also want to keep your expectations reasonable. As we said, your first time is almost certainly not going to be great. Good sex requires everyone involved to be both aware of themselves and just plain familiar with sex.
You’re not going to get it right the first time, and thinking you will only leads to disappointment. Virginal sexual prowess really only exists in romance novels. So no matter what it said in The Ribald Adventures of the Lusty Buccaneer, not only is kidnapping the duke’s daughter illegal, it’s unlikely to lead to a satisfying sexual encounter.
You need to understand that sex is like a lot of other things in life. It can be fun, but it can also suck sometimes. The key is to be comfortable with what you’re doing and who you’re doing it with—if you can manage this, then your first time is likely to be better than most.
As a quick caveat, nothing ruins your first time after the fact more than STIs or pregnancy, so get tested and use protection.
Actually, now that we think of it, finding out you’re related could spoil things too, so maybe look into that beforehand as well. If you have any questions about your family heritage, we’re not qualified to answer them, but otherwise contact us at thenakedtruth@jackcentral.com.